I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
