Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
