I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
