Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
