the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
