Just took my morning after pill in the library
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Watching her eat just hurts me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
