i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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