Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize