Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
