What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
