I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
