I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm like, not good at living.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
