White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
