his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want her autograph on my taint
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
