we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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