What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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