I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
