The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
