who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
