I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
