I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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