he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
