Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize