***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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