I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
