You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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