I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
