New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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