barbara walters just said penis...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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