ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
