3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
