come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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