you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
