my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
