so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
