mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
