I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
