I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
