I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
