I'm gonna have a badass scar
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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