i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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