Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
