pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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