who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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