So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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