The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my being single is dangerous.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
