awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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