He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
