im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
