haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
