so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
