idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
