LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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