just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
