That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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