I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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