We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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