I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
