Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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