Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
