I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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