Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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