Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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