Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
