i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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