You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
