dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
