i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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