a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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