Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
