So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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