the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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