After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
