Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
