she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
