Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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